Thursday, August 24, 2006

Compatibility Test ...

When I was a youngster, the local Newsagent stocked boiled sweets, newspapers, periodicals, cigarettes and on the top shelf, the downfall of many an adolescent male, porn. It was only a matter of steps away from the optician.

Magazines, back then, were limited in both number and subject. Not like today's mass selection of specialist glossies, the sheer weight of paper burdening the shelves is enough to get Sting back into the recording studio. No matter your taste or chosen interest, there's a magazine targeted at you.

My nearest and dearest is an occasional magazine reader - normally crap women's stuff that helps pass time on a train - throw away 'glance specials'. Last week, still out at the country house, we loaded the 5yr old into the car and set off Rogny, a village with 7 river locks. Ten minutes into our journey, we stumbled across a pretty little hamlet and stopped for a coffee and a look-see. In the small store was a selection of magazines, not as varied as in most towns, but impressive nonetheless. For the princely sum of €3,50, she decided that the magazine 'Psychologies' was for her. Not because it held the secret to eternal happiness but because it had a quiz; 'Are You Sexually Compatible With Your Partner' - do you know your partner well enough, that kind of thing.

Returning home from the outing, the 5yr old went out into the garden to soak up the last hour's glow and we, the adults (?) sat down to do this bloody quiz. It is made up of one set of questions but two sets of answers. Two coloured boxes down each side of the questions where you mark down not only your answers but also the answers you think your partner may come up with.

As soon as all questions have been completed and his/her scores have been added up, comes the confusing table of hell. Basically, you run your finger along your score line and where it meets that of your partner, that's the final score. The box is a mass of coloured squares and has numerous outcomes. In the centre, believe it or not, are no more than a dozen tiny red squares. If your score falls in this area then (according to 'Psychologies' magazine) you're compatible.

After the 20 or so revealing questions, we added up the scores and ran two fingers along two differing score lines. With the very real chance of it all going up the pictures, bingo, red box. One happy and contented girlfriend.

Put it this way, if a magazine costing €3.50 makes her happy, then I am indeed, a very lucky chap ...

Stu

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So why didn't you post the dang quiz?

Monday, September 04, 2006 7:07:00 am  

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