Monday, August 14, 2006

The Race Against Time ...

There are some polls in this world that I fail to understand - especially, the ever-popular online poll.

In one recent poll, for example, the search for 'The World's Most Naturally Beautiful Person' was topped by 71 year old Oscar winning Italian actress Sophia Loren. She pipped much younger contenders to be voted in at the top slot. Her secret, apparently, is down to love of life and spaghetti (?). Another key to maintaining her youthful looks is one known to the earlier ancient Romans - "the odd bath in virgin olive oil".

OK, she's still looking presentable at her grand old age but 'The World's Most Naturally Beautiful Person'? I very much doubt it. In the news release, they failed to publish the number of how many people voted, their ages or where they came from. She's 71, for heaven's sake, not 41. I apologise to anyone who finds this rude and improper, but as we get older we simply cannot expect to look the same 40 years later. Despite all those TV commercials that claim to smooth out the wrinkles, science is no quick-fix answer to the gradual workings of mother nature.

Earlier this year, Loren agreed to pose for the 2006 Pirelli calendar. The calendar often features models in the buff and was first published in 1964. Mimicked by many others, the Pirelli is only a limited edition with a distribution list of only 30,000 lucky recipients. Thankfully, the 71 year old will not be sprawled out on a hearth rug with her legs in the air but pictured dressed in lingerie and under a bed sheet. I find that the constant fawning over elderly celebs with: 'still looking gorgeous' etc, nothing more than patronising. Even the Archbishop of Genoa got in on the act who said that "although the Vatican opposed human cloning, an exception might be made in the case of Sophia Loren ...", Gosh.

Look at the two images below. Who, chaps, would you prefer to bed?

If you went for 'B', then I take it that you voted in this farcical online poll and that Matron will be up to tuck you into bed soon.

For adolescent males, their first sexual experience is often with a naughty magazine (or a calendar for that matter), beating themselves senseless over the delights of the female form and thoughts of the wonderful experiences that lie before them. Imagine a spotty 13 year old, locked in his bedroom, gently folding over the pages of his Dad's copy of the Pirelli calendar, only to reveal an image of someone the same age as his granny. It's enough to curb his appetite in an instant or scar him for life, turning him into ... well, let's not go there. There are many other Oscar-award winners I would prefer the 13 year old to exhaust himself over: Julia Roberts or Cate Blanchett? On the question of Oscars, it is interesting to note that Loren never won a little gold statue for any of her films but in 1991 was awarded a special Oscar for career achievement.

Patronising again?

Stu

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