Picked Up By The Fuzz ...

The next time you run into trouble with the Law in the Kiwi capital, Auckland, just as they hand you a ticket you might like to reply with "get f**ked!". So long as the Officer in question is female, then you're in with a chance of actually getting away with it.

A certain officer, whose name and rank have not been revealed (probably to avoid the rush), has taken a part-time job as a hooker. By day, she patrols the city centre f**king the locals with tickets a-plenty, but by night, the locals can get their own back and book her for a 30 minute handcuff session between the sheets.

Prostitution has been legal in New Zealand since 2003 but a police spokesman said although secondary employment was allowed, prostitution was "inappropriate and incompatible with policing". He added that it was known she worked for a limited time as a prostitute, but would not reveal where or when she worked. Senior police are believed to have discovered the nature of the officer's second job in the past month.

A spokeswoman for the New Zealand Prostitute's Collective said that depending on the brothel, the policewoman could have earned around $NZ500 (£168.16) on busy night. Ron Mark, the law and order spokesman for the New Zealand First political party said "I know a hell of a lot of police officers who struggle with the cost of living in Auckland but they don't all rush out and become prostitutes."

More's the pity.

"'Ello, 'ello, 'ello ... who's been a naughty little shagger then? I should like you to accompany me to the bedroom for a full investigation ... cash only ..."

Stu