Monday, June 26, 2006

The Bear Truth …

While the rest of Germany busies itself with the footy World Cup, hunters in the Bavarian Alps have been traipsing the hillsides looking for a brown bear called Bruno.

The bear was part of an Italian programme to reintroduce the species to the Alps and had crossed into Germany in May of this year. Naturally, as Bruno had been the first wild bear to be sighted in Germany since 1835, he had to be disposed of. Why? Well, apparently he shouldered the blame for killing dozens of sheep and had also raided a beehive and a rabbit hutch (he's a bear, that what he does).

The animal-loving German authorities had said the bear should be shot because it posed a danger to humans, so a pack of Finnish tracking dogs was brought in to capture Bruno alive, but they failed. Next on the agenda was a plan to shoot the bear with a narcotic dart (great, get him hooked on crack, that'll do it). However, they failed at that too, so bring in the big guns.

Early this morning, Bavaria's government bear expert Manfred Woelfl (I‘d like to see that on a business card) said with about as much sincerity as Tennessee Prison Guard: "The shooting has happened. The bear is dead".

Good, I hope you’re all happy and that Flopsy and Big Ears can sleep well in their caged surroundings from now on.

Stu

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