Heroin Chic …

The latest round of Fashion Shows have just come to an end in the French capital, with the normal A, B, C, K and Z lists of celebs trotting off to be seen. The 'tropical fish club' were also there. 50yr old++ women who all seem to have the same stretched face, lips of uncontrollable rubber* and who dare not smile for fear of coming adrift from their hairlines.

Ivana Trump was spotted at one show. Her 'tighter-than-is-healthy' outfit attempting to keep control of her ever inflating form.

On the catwalk, painfully thin, flat-chested female 'mod-uls' have a new way of walking. It's rather like dressage performed by a wounded antelope. Reseating a dislocated shoulder without aesthetic looks less painful.

Then there's the clothes ... do me a favour. Anyone who's delivered a plastic bag of unwanted tat to a homeless shelter will know what I mean.

Applaud the 'designers' … hells bells and buckets of blood … badling or badly wigged people like Mr Tippex-Head, Karl Lagerfeld, a Thunderbird marionette in a former life. Then there's Valentino, who's hair dye is about as subtle as ripping a loud one off during the death scene in Swan Lake. Bring on Brit 'designer', John Galliano … nah. Can't be bothered to slag him off. He's just odd. Very, very odd.

Well they'll all be back at the end of February … for Prêt a Porter season.

Oh goody, can hardly wait.

Stu

* see 'clown fish'