Sunday, April 22, 2007

X Marks The Spot ...

So, April 22nd. The French vote.

Will it be the diminutive Hungarian, poof-hating Fascist?
The Man from No-Where?
A stuck-up farmer who smashed up a McDonalds 'restaurant'? (who's parents used to be researchers at the University of California)

... or the former paratrooper and founder of today's National Front Party who was kicked out of the European Parliament in April 2000 because of me?

You decide ... or not, as the case maybe.


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Blah, blah, blah ...

I must apologise to my reader but I haven't much time to bring you anything new. It's all a bit busy with the elections and other stuff ... normal service will be resumed in good time ...


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Leap Of Faith ...

Talk of 'making something out of nothing' ...

Picture this: A raccoon has wandered out of his natural habitat and found himself on a bridge over a busy 'freeway' in Sacremento, CA. He peers over the concrete parapet at the cars and lorries passing below. Someone calls the Fire Brigade and soon the 'freeway' is closed with fire crews, the media and local inhabitants flocking to the scene.

'Animal Control' tries to capture the animal with a plastic noose on a pole but the creature shies away and, loosing its footing, falls the 30-odd feet onto the concrete 'freeway' below. However, it survives the fall and all is well ...

Now, enter the media and their grossly inflated story-telling abilities. According to most, the animal 'knew what he was doing'. Crap. It's a wild omnivorous mammal with an IQ slightly above that of a journalist. It did what any scared, trapped animal would do in such a situation - it ran. It did not 'jump'.

Some headlines read "Raccoon's Spectacular Leap" and "Raccoon Survives After Jumping Off Bridge" and even "Raccoon Takes Daring Dive - And Lives!"

OK class, your homework for tonight is look up the definitions of 'jump' and 'fall' ...


Friday, April 06, 2007

Pardon ...?

What is going on in the news business today? After all the usual headlines were read out on a national UK station this Good Friday, the following was dispatched with much 'gravitas';

".. and a British couple have been hospitalised in South Africa after falling off an elephant on the first day of their holiday."

With footy fans being beaten up by over-zealous European riot police, the deaths of 4 British Service personnel in Iraq and a list of other more deserving candidates, this was deemed as newsworthy??

Sometimes I dispair ...


Thursday, April 05, 2007

Ya Boo Sucks ...

The British 15 Navy/Marine personnel are back on home turf. The Americans, naturally, heaped criticism on the Blair government, suggesting that "threatening military action" might have been the answer.

No, Blair claims that diplomacy won the day and no military action was ever considered.

Typical, no? The Americans hit first and then ask questions ... err ... since the war began on 19th March 2003, Uncle Spam has seen 3260 dead service personnel flown home, where as the number of combined coalition troops is a lowly 264.

The last time that an American was taken hostage by Iran, the event played out for 444 days. I wonder how many 'threats' of violence were made over that one ...

Ride 'em cowboy ...


Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Speak Up, Little Big Man ...

My intention was about to sit down a write a piece about the upcoming French Presidential elections. Then I thought "Nah. Sod it."


Sunday, April 01, 2007

A Little Quiz ...

Firstly, what's this:

Yes, children, it's a pedestrian crossing.

And what's this:

Right again, kiddies, it's a Parisien car number plate.

So, why don't the people who drive these bloody Parisien number plates around know what a predestrian crossing is for? Answers on a postcard please ...