Friday, October 28, 2005

‘Arry’s Bin ‘Ad …

Cornish pixies have spirited away the "flying" Ford Anglia used in the Harry Potter films.

The rusting car, registration 7990 TD, went missing from the South West Film Studios in St Agnes on Wednesday night.

In typical PC Plod-speak, the law said: "The thieves may not have known its connection wiv the films and just phor it was a classic car, or it may have been an ’Arry Potter freak."

The turquoise 1962 Ford Anglia was an exhibit at the studio, which (now read this carefully) went into receivership last year.

Hang on a mo … has the law taken that into consideration? The clues are there if you look for them.

Tonight, the Police raided a café in Brixton …

Extraordinary Reader Offer ...

A certain magazine in the UK has offered a somewhat unusual prize this month - "Win Your Girlfriend A £4,000 Boob Job". The eager-reading yoofs are then given an explanation as to how their "lady" could (and I kid you not) "bag a new set of rib-lamps". What next? Pop on down to your local Harvester and order 'Chicken-In-A-Basket with a free penile extension while-u-wait'??

A New Phrase ...

Along with those terribly vain people who insist on calling themselves 'broadcasters' comes another bland and meaningless job description; an 'International Photographer'?

According to the dictionary, 'international' means 'extending across or transcending national boundaries' and 'photographer', 'an image, especially a positive print, recorded by a camera and reproduced on a photosensitive surface'.

So from those explanations, we can assume that anyone who jumps on a plane and takes a headless snapshot of auntie Flo in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa is an international photographer?

Lord Litchfield, you've been rumbled.


International Photographer
(Chicken-In-A-Basket on order)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

does the penile extention come with Tamiflu?

(cheap airfares photographer)

Saturday, October 29, 2005 10:17:00 am  
Blogger Stu said...

yes, but if it sneezes, you're in trouble ...

Saturday, October 29, 2005 12:19:00 pm  

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