Hannibal Rising? A Matter Of Choice ...

Do not proceed if you haven't yet seen this pile of nonsense.

When you draw on the strings of a classic cult horror film and attempt to rewrite history, the wise would be well off leaving those sleeping dogs snoozing to their heart's content ...

Hannibal Rising is, without doubt, one of the worst films to kick off a new year - and it's still only February. The story is disastrously weak and riddled with nonsensical chance and writer's cramp. With it's forerunner now well and truly on a higher shelf, some bright spark decided that the original story should be told from the beginning. So, along with a financial backer, they set out to recreate the early years of Hannibal Lecter.

Casting a French boy in the role of the adolescent Hannibal only confused the character's Eastern European origins when he spoke. The supporting cast must have been drawn out of a hat at a charity ball and the editing appeared to have been done by a deranged axe-man with a blunt instrument. Where the idea of this Japanese Aunt came from, along with the martial art of kendo and the Samurai mask, I'll never know - and we're only 30 minutes into the film at this stage.

It's a bizarre tale with some truly awful lines, delivered by a collection of character actors who should strike this ordeal from their resumes. Remember Ridley Scott's 2001 'Hannibal' but leave this desparately poor relation to the half-price bins at your local DVD store.

If I were to describe this movie in 5 words, I'd say that it was 'a cow in a tracksuit'. But then I'd be insulting the cow ...

Stu